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I |
made my
perpetual profession on 27th August 2020 and so my memories of
perpetual profession are still quite fresh in my mind. One particular
experience that moved me was that during the profession Mass, I was thinking to
myself, "I guess God was serious about this!" I couldn't
grasp that this was really happening to me. I never really considered a
religious vocation growing up. I always consider discovering my vocation to the
religious life. Played out quite vividly in the parable that Jesus talks about
the landowner who goes in search of laborers to work in His vineyard Jesus says
that the landowner goes out and calls laborers at nine o'clock, at noon, at
three and at five o'clock. I'm that five o'clock laborer that had no clue that
the Lord was calling me to work in His vineyard! God was very serious when he
popped the desire in my heart to belong to him in my early age and helped me to
discover that he was calling me to be a religious sister. And so, I am so
grateful to be called to give my life to such a worthy cause and to such a
worthy Person: Jesus Christ. I feel like I have found the greatest of
treasures. I have found what my heart was looking for. I have found the dearest
of Friends. To proclaim him as God for all my life is the greatest of quests.
Belonging to Jesus forever as a religious sister is one of the greatest gifts
for which I will be eternally grateful, especially knowing that I am not
perfect, I am often afraid, weak, and feel incapable. But that does
not stop Jesus from calling me again and again to Himself. I delight in knowing
daily that I am loved unconditionally by this great God of mercy and still
called to witness His love and mercy to the ends of the earth.
The most important lessons that I have
learned in formation are: the first is that I will be continuing to learn all
my life. The second one is about my humanness and interdependence. In regard to
my humanness, the things that I struggle with – my questions, confusions,
imperfections, tragic mistakes, etc. are all a natural part of being human. The
things that I see as my greatest faults are only the shadow side of my greatest
gifts. I learned that shared spirituality is real, and the connection to
something greater than me is very much there. Living with the sisters made me
more aware of my own place as a member of the Body of Christ, and of the
responsibility towards others.
On the vigil night
and profession day, I was filled with joy to have the sisters rejoicing and
witnessing my perpetual profession of vows. The holy Eucharistic celebration
was a solemn and grace-filled experience. During the litany prayers I felt my
life being transformed. I was a new person, at peace with myself.
The seed of faith which my parents planted in
me continues to grow as I enter deeply into religious life, prayers, faith
sharing, spiritual reading, retreats and spiritual direction. These together
help me to enrich and deepen my faith. Faith keeps me strong as I journey. None
of this would have been possible without the guidance of my parents, formators
and my sisters in community. The love I have experienced in community has truly
taught me how to love myself and to love others in return. I know that growing
in love as a Claretian Missionary Sister is a life-long journey, but it is one
that I desire to embrace with my whole heart, more now than ever before.
After
the gift of my life and of my baptism, the gift of my call to be a religious
sister is the biggest gift God could give me. I still remember how I felt when
I pronounced my vows of Poverty, Obedience and Chastity “for all my life”
for the first time. My vows express my love for God, my trust in God and my
desire and commitment to be God’s alone. In one way, I can say that it is a
very mutual relationship, God gives God’s self to me and I give my self to God.
This is the most precious relationship I could ever have. It actually continues
to deepen and grow as I live my vows daily.
I see
Profession as a covenant of love and commitment between God and the soul. He
calls and I answer and continue to answer every day of my life. I see the
terms “Final Vows” and “Perpetual vows” as two different
things. Final implies the last time that the vows are pronounced publicly, the “final
yes” to commit to my community's charism (Spirituality and Mission).
My perpetual vows are not the end but the true beginning of my covenant with my
Lord. They make me who I am, "Apostle of the Lord," Chosen
and Beloved,
Evangelizer
and bearer of his Word. Each day I must recommit myself in love and open
my heart to the voice of God. It is a continuous process, to humbly
accept the endless graces granted to me to become another Christ - "He
must increase, I must decrease".
By Rahil RMI
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