Thursday, September 10, 2020

My wonderful experience on the Eve of Perpetual Profession!

 

I

made my perpetual profession on 27th August 2020 and so my memories of perpetual profession are still quite fresh in my mind. One particular experience that moved me was that during the profession Mass, I was thinking to myself, "I guess God was serious about this!" I couldn't grasp that this was really happening to me. I never really considered a religious vocation growing up. I always consider discovering my vocation to the religious life. Played out quite vividly in the parable that Jesus talks about the landowner who goes in search of laborers to work in His vineyard Jesus says that the landowner goes out and calls laborers at nine o'clock, at noon, at three and at five o'clock. I'm that five o'clock laborer that had no clue that the Lord was calling me to work in His vineyard! God was very serious when he popped the desire in my heart to belong to him in my early age and helped me to discover that he was calling me to be a religious sister. And so, I am so grateful to be called to give my life to such a worthy cause and to such a worthy Person: Jesus Christ. I feel like I have found the greatest of treasures. I have found what my heart was looking for. I have found the dearest of Friends. To proclaim him as God for all my life is the greatest of quests. Belonging to Jesus forever as a religious sister is one of the greatest gifts for which I will be eternally grateful, especially knowing that I am not perfect, I am often afraid, weak, and feel incapable. But that does not stop Jesus from calling me again and again to Himself. I delight in knowing daily that I am loved unconditionally by this great God of mercy and still called to witness His love and mercy to the ends of the earth.

The most important lessons that I have learned in formation are: the first is that I will be continuing to learn all my life. The second one is about my humanness and interdependence. In regard to my humanness, the things that I struggle with – my questions, confusions, imperfections, tragic mistakes, etc. are all a natural part of being human. The things that I see as my greatest faults are only the shadow side of my greatest gifts. I learned that shared spirituality is real, and the connection to something greater than me is very much there. Living with the sisters made me more aware of my own place as a member of the Body of Christ, and of the responsibility towards others.

On the vigil night and profession day, I was filled with joy to have the sisters rejoicing and witnessing my perpetual profession of vows. The holy Eucharistic celebration was a solemn and grace-filled experience. During the litany prayers I felt my life being transformed. I was a new person, at peace with myself.

 The seed of faith which my parents planted in me continues to grow as I enter deeply into religious life, prayers, faith sharing, spiritual reading, retreats and spiritual direction. These together help me to enrich and deepen my faith. Faith keeps me strong as I journey. None of this would have been possible without the guidance of my parents, formators and my sisters in community. The love I have experienced in community has truly taught me how to love myself and to love others in return. I know that growing in love as a Claretian Missionary Sister is a life-long journey, but it is one that I desire to embrace with my whole heart, more now than ever before.

 After the gift of my life and of my baptism, the gift of my call to be a religious sister is the biggest gift God could give me. I still remember how I felt when I pronounced my vows of Poverty, Obedience and Chastity “for all my life” for the first time. My vows express my love for God, my trust in God and my desire and commitment to be God’s alone. In one way, I can say that it is a very mutual relationship, God gives God’s self to me and I give my self to God. This is the most precious relationship I could ever have. It actually continues to deepen and grow as I live my vows daily. 

 I see Profession as a covenant of love and commitment between God and the soul. He calls and I answer and continue to answer every day of my life. I see the terms “Final Vows” and “Perpetual vows” as two different things. Final implies the last time that the vows are pronounced publicly, the “final yes” to commit to my community's charism (Spirituality and Mission). My perpetual vows are not the end but the true beginning of my covenant with my Lord. They make me who I am, "Apostle of the Lord," Chosen and Beloved, Evangelizer and bearer of his Word. Each day I must recommit myself in love and open my heart to the voice of God. It is a continuous process, to humbly accept the endless graces granted to me to become another Christ - "He must increase, I must decrease".

By Rahil RMI


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